“They promised to look for me when I healed, but it seems that their healing led them elsewhere”

I wrote this phrase a few years ago in my journal. I remember the pain and hopelessness that came with what I wrote that day. I felt that I had created some expectations or a fantasy that was not going to be fulfilled, and suddenly I was left with nothing. I felt lost and not knowing how I was going to face this new reality.

And even when I wrote those words thinking about a relationship, the truth is that this feeling can be experienced in a lot of situations:

• When we need someone, and they weren’t there.
• When someone promises us that they won’t hurt us again with the same behaviors, and they do it anyway.
• When our workspace promised to support us, and what we experienced is abandonment and lack of care.
• When we open up about something in our mental health or emotions, and we experience rejection.
• When we thought that we were going to receive a promotion, a scholarship, an award, some validation, and it is not given to us.

That is, at any time where we create expectations and they are not met. Expectations are not the enemy at this time, because everyone has them. My problem was that I allowed my expectations to put me in second place. I kept waiting and prioritizing what someone else was going to do with their life and their process. And that realization made me consider the following question:

What sign or result are you waiting for to finally choose you?

Take a moment to sit down with this question and see what comes up. Are you waiting to see if your partner changes? Waiting for your body to look different? For your parents to finally understand you?

Whatever your answer or answers turn out to be, my invitation is that you don’t wait any longer. Life passes between waiting for those “permissions” to be able to live based on our authenticity and what makes us happy. And the truth is that we deserve to be our priority at all times.

I hope this email is an invitation to make your well-being and happiness a priority. And if you were waiting for a “sign” to choose yourself, then consider this blog post as one;)