Recovering from a Narcissistic Relationship

July 29, 2020

Coaching, Relationships, Therapy

A relationship with a narcissistic person is an experience that is hard to forget. Some of that experience makes you think, “Something’s not right here.” At the same time, it’s an extremely confusing experience. For a moment, you are the most beautiful person in the world, and your partner shows you deep adoration and love. And the next moment, it makes you feel that you are worthless and that no matter what you do, you will never be enough. In this post, we will explore how to begin healing after being in a narcissistic relationship.

How do I know if I am dating a narcissistic person?

Usually, a narcissistic person has a sense of grandiosity about themselves. It’s not a matter of good self-esteem, but rather that the person feels they are above other people. 

 Some signs of a narcissistic person:

  1. They think that they are superior to other people.
  2. They seek to be the center of everything.
  3. They look for people who can give them something in return.

 

For a narcissistic person, protecting this image is more important than their relationships. In these relationships, everything usually begins perfectly. Maybe they make us feel like the most important person in the world. However, the narcissistic person often does this to create an emotional dependency. This way, when things don’t go the way they want in the relationship, they withdraw this attention. It makes you think you did something wrong and that you have “lost” the right to love and admiration. Therefore, it leads you to want to “fix” things, be more submissive, or pay more attention or give more compliments. In this way, the narcissistic person creates a vicious cycle that only benefits them. 

THE IMPACT OF NARCISSISTS IN OUR LIVES. – HOW THEY AFFECT OUR SELF-ESTEEM. 

Feeling that we’re not enough for our partners hurts our self-esteem. Also, the narcissistic person needs to make you feel less. Undermining your self-worth is the only way they can continue to believe that nobody compares to them. Additionally, the narcissistic person makes you think there is something wrong with what you do and who you are. They will always find some way to make you feel you don’t deserve what you want and need from a relationship. Some ways in which they can achieve this can be by either calling you ungrateful or by telling you that you are asking for too much.

4 Steps to recovering from a narcissistic relationship.

  1. Acknowledge that you were in a narcissistic relationship.

Mourning the loss of a relationship is natural. However, the narcissistic person makes you believe that you will never be able to have a better relationship than the one they give you. And that no one will compare to what they can provide you. Therefore, we must differentiate between grief and nostalgia for a breakup, while separating it from what the person made us believe we lost.  

2. Work on your self-esteem.

The narcissistic person does not accept that we have high self-esteem. They do not take into consideration our needs or boundaries. Therefore, they do not allow another person with a healthy ego to exist in the relationship. This is why it is essential to explore what we have left behind to make room for the narcissistic person’s ego. Additionally, we need to try to reconnect with those aspects of our personality that we have abandoned.

3. Have self-compassion. 

We can blame ourselves for these experiences and ask, “How could I not have noticed it before?” However, we must understand that the narcissistic person will use the infatuation that occurs at the beginning of every relationship and will triple it. So, it’s not your fault that you found yourself in this kind of relationship. The important thing is to accept that this is what happened and that you can now create a new life apart from this person.  

  4. Create a sense of autonomy

To be able to reconnect with the person we were before this relationship. It is important to re-evaluate our limits, values, and goals. In this way, you can reconnect with your essence and regain some degree of control over your life.

Some final words

Recovering from a narcissistic relationship is a process that can be complex and painful. However, it is not necessary to go through it without someone to accompany you during it. In my work, I focus on helping people identify and break toxicity patterns so that they can have more fulfilling, authentic, and intentional relationships. If you would like to know more about my services, you can click here, and I’ll be happy to be in touch!

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