Navigating new relationships: What if they ask me for some time?

January 30, 2024


The Complex Dynamics of New Relationships

Imagine you’ve just started seeing someone, and things are flowing amazingly well. You’re happy to have that long-awaited connection with someone, finally. And suddenly, this person tells you they need more time to really see how they feel about the relationship. You start to flood with questions. Do they need just a bit more time? Are they playing with my time and feelings? What do I do if I want a relationship? In this post, I’ll share some reflections to consider if you find yourself navigating new relationships.

The Importance of Individual Stories in Relationships

First off, it’s crucial to clarify that everyone brings a set of stories to their relationships. They come with stories from their family, past relationships, having had no relationships, and stories they’ve created about themselves. They also bring stories shaped by their religion, culture, friends, etc. Meaning, no one comes into a relationship as a blank slate. Everyone has their multiple stories that form their understanding of how relationships work.

Evaluating Intentions in Early Relationship Stages

  1. Genuine Interest vs. Casual Dating: The person who genuinely is considering a relationship with you will take the time to get to know you. This means going on dates, having vulnerable conversations, and seeking to understand different aspects of your life. In contrast, the person playing with our emotions doesn’t have many plans to bond.
  2. Signs of a Serious Contender: The person interested in getting to know you will want to understand how you manage your relationships. They’ll ask about your expectations, goals, and share how a relationship would look for them. This is a key factor in understanding relationship intentions.
  3. Red Flags in New Relationships: The person who needs time but is considerate will be upfront about their intentions. Beware of those who make future plans without genuine intention or vulnerability – these are not signs of a changed mindset.

Making Informed Decisions in Your Love Life

These are three ways to evaluate relationships to realize the other person’s intentions. However, this doesn’t mean that if someone genuinely is discovering if they can have a relationship, they will end up having a serious relationship with you. Unfortunately, nothing can guarantee this.

Conclusion: Self-Worth Beyond Relationship Outcomes

The most important thing is that, regardless of what happens with this person, none of this reflects your worth. If someone doesn’t choose you, don’t forget that you can always choose yourself. Reflecting on personal worth is crucial in the journey of navigating new relationships.

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