Imagine you’ve just started seeing someone, and things are flowing amazingly well. You’re happy to have that long-awaited connection with someone, finally. And suddenly, this person tells you they need more time to really see how they feel about the relationship. You start to flood with questions. Do they need just a bit more time? Are they playing with my time and feelings? What do I do if I want a relationship? In this post, I’ll share some reflections to consider if you find yourself navigating new relationships.
First off, it’s crucial to clarify that everyone brings a set of stories to their relationships. They come with stories from their family, past relationships, having had no relationships, and stories they’ve created about themselves. They also bring stories shaped by their religion, culture, friends, etc. Meaning, no one comes into a relationship as a blank slate. Everyone has their multiple stories that form their understanding of how relationships work.
These are three ways to evaluate relationships to realize the other person’s intentions. However, this doesn’t mean that if someone genuinely is discovering if they can have a relationship, they will end up having a serious relationship with you. Unfortunately, nothing can guarantee this.
The most important thing is that, regardless of what happens with this person, none of this reflects your worth. If someone doesn’t choose you, don’t forget that you can always choose yourself. Reflecting on personal worth is crucial in the journey of navigating new relationships.